Friday, January 25, 2013

Day 25: The Most Ridiculous Hostel Story You've Ever Heard

SO sorry for not blogging yesterday. I had serious writers'/mental block after my post about my quarter-life crisis. That, and I discovered Supernatural and have been marathoning it online since yesterday afternoon. (It's awesome, btw. How have I never watched it before!?)

Today, I don't have anything serious to talk about but I wanted to share the entire story of what happened in my first few nights in Korea. I shared the basic story on Brooke Vs The World's facebook page a few weeks ago, and which you can read on her blog (at that link), but the entire story is a bit longer than that.

So, the story.

I had made friends with people who were also going to teach in Korea with EPIK at the same time as me via Facebook. We decided to all meet up at a hostel in Seoul before orientation. The first night, we had dinner and drinks and just hung out at the hostel afterward.

The second night, however, is where it gets interesting. Several new people arrived at the hostel. One of them, it was his birthday. Clearly, we had to celebrate.

Let the good times roll, when party hats are involved
We pre-gamed at the hostel, then went bar-hopping in Seoul. I don't remember how many bars we went to, but one of the new guys (not the birthday boy, pictured center above, or the other guy G) apparently couldn't hold his liquor very well. He went toe to toe with the birthday boy on Jager bombs, 7 at last count, along with some beers. Then when we made it to a noraebang (Korean karaoke), he shotgunned a bottle of soju.

For those who don't know, soju is a white clear liquor indigenous to Korea. It's slightly less potent than vodka (only about 25% alcohol instead of 40%), but considering you can buy 500ml for about $1.50, it's still pretty dangerous.

Noraebang time, me on the left
The guy was belligerently drunk by this point, but we were all pretty wasted so let's not throw any stones (yet). We decided to go back to the hostel. Some people went to bed, while others went to a private room where one of the party was staying and continued drinking for a while. (I'll let you guess which group I was in.)

After about an hour, everyone decided to go to bed. The belligerent guy (BG, for short) passed out in the hallway and we decided to leave him there. I went to my room, got in bed, and dozed off. About half an hour later, BG wanders into my hostel room mumbling and running into things. I task myself with getting him out and to his room, on the other side of the hostel, since everyone else is sound asleep. I drag him across the street and, with the help of H who was also staying in BG's room, we eventually settle him into his bed. I leave and go back to my dorm, and finally, blissfully fall asleep.

Unfortunately, about an hour and a half later, we are all roused from sleep by the four other people we knew from that side of the hostel, one of whom says, "Not to be dramatic, but [BG] has just shit himself."

Wait WHAT?!

They proceed to tell the story of how the fellow fell out of bed (the top bunk), pissed himself then they were hit by The Smell. The 3 of them clearly ran out of the room as fast as possible. They went next door to a private room of someone we knew staying there... and the smell permeated his room too. They came to our room, in another building on the other side of the hostel, in hopes of escaping the smell.

We all try to go back to sleep but some of us, including myself, can't. I, and another guy J, get up to go to the hostel common room, when... what do we see?

BG. Outside the hostel. NAKED, from the waist down. Still covered in poo. ....And the best part? Banging on the neighbor's door. Some poor random Korean person had to be woken up at 6am to THAT.

J and I, clearly, can't handle this shit and make a run for the nearest convenience store a couple blocks away, still shocked at what is happening. We stayed there for about half an hour, before deciding to go back and wake up everyone and tell them what we saw.

We get back, and see S, another guy from our group, in the common room. We relate to him the story and even he, a former US soldier, is perturbed. All of a sudden, the hostel owner, an old Korean woman, runs into the common room yelling in Korean. We all look at each other in panic. She starts pointing outside and yelling at us, in English, "Crazy man! crazy man! I call police!"

Oh god, she's spotted BG. The three of us go back to the dorm room where everyone spent the night and recap to the group what's happened. We all decide it's for the best if we grab our stuff and make a run for it. Only, we can't get Birthday Boy to the door of his private room, and three of our group still have their stuff in The Shit Room. They go back to try and salvage their things and come across BG. S shoves him into the hall bathroom, turns on the shower, and blocks the door.

BG comes to, and somehow doesn't remember a damn thing of what's happened. Someone, probably S, had to relate the entire story to him so he knows why the police are coming for him.

We finally rouse Birthday Boy, and when he comes to the door, I tell him, "The police are coming, get your stuff NOW!"

The police arrive, and we're all still there, now trapped. We're all kind of terrified we'll all be blamed and end up getting deported, because Korea has a bit of a history of lumping all foreigners together.

In the end, BG gets fined about $300 (for the clean-up of the room, mostly) and is let off with a severe warning and a black mark on his record in Korea. Pretty sure if he even gets a parking ticket while he's in Korea now, he'll get deported.

The rest of us are let go with no problem. Although it's awkward with BG, we all get on a bus and go to our EPIK orientation that day, and decide not to discuss it.... until a few weeks later, when SOMEHOW, everyone we know from the facebook group, even people who weren't there when the incident happened, knows about it.

Because the story finally spread outside of those who were there when it happened, I don't feel bad about sharing this story on the blog. I've intentionally left out any name details and not attached a photo of "BG" at all to this post, so as to protect some sense of privacy in the matter... but it's too hilarious of a story NOT to share with the world.

And that was my introduction to life in Korea.

If you think you can top my hostel story, please try. Leave me a comment below!

See you tomorrow,
xx Kaylin


  1. horrible!
    thank God I never got this experience when I was in hostel
    enjoy Korea :)
    thank you for sharing this story


  2. Believe it or not this is not the first post I have read about someone 'shitting' in a dorm room ha ha.

  3. Wow, what a riot!

  4. Amazing...this is definitely the craziest hostel story I've ever heard!